I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
