I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
