i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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