Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
