Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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