he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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