Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
