i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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