I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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