We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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