ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
