grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
