So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize