Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
