So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
