3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
