Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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