There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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