so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night