I hate your face
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
