she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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