they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
