if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
