at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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