Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We are two peas in an std pod
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
