I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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