Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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