Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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