if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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