i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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