Already got asked if we're dating
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize