I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
