I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
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You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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