He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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