OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
