Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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