she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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