i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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