By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
