do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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