Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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