Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
