We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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