Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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