last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
