I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
