he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
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there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
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No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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