I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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