too bad you live with your parents still
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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