if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
