just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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