Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
