I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
