chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
