Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
