Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
