i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
