Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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