would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
