Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
