I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
