He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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