we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I want to be your penis for a week.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
