I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
